billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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