I cockslap morals
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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