i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
