This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
