i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
