Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
