They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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