you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
