I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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