This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just want nice things and good sex
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
