I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
