He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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