3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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