I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
