remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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