I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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