Do you still have your period?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
