we have officially lost it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
