i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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