The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
do herpes really smell.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
