its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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