I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
