We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
