Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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