Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
