I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
