I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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