I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
