Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
