She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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