uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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