Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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