dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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