i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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