How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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