just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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