6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They are going to name an STD after you.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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