So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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