I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
