ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
