ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
