they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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