Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
