we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
