one might say we're banned from that church
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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