The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
All the doctor said was why
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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