At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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