Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
