What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
