She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
